Where did we get the idea of "unconditional love"? From the world. From the philosophies of men. It is a commonplace idea born in the sciences of psychology. It is the child of the pervasive idea in our society and culture of self-esteem. And they are both false gospel ideas.
When we Latter-day Saints take such an idea and mingle it with scripture we end up with the philosophies of men that we are warned against in sacred places. And which we are under covenant to avoid.
It is common to hear people at the local level of the Church---faithful, good, decent Latter-day Saints--- defend the use of such terms as unconditional love and self-esteem when they appear in our talks and testimonies and lessons, and in our curriculum. "The Lord would never allow us to use false ideas from the world to lead us astray. If we hear it in a talk or see it in a manual it must be correct," they say.
Thankfully, by deliberate decision, as we have said before, such terms are now specifically banned from official Church publications, and you will not hear them in the talks of the Brethren. This is all, as we say, by specific design.
But at the grass roots, the regular members at the local level of the Church, we still seem to have trouble with such bad ideas. We still embrace them. We speak of boosting our self-esteem as if it were vital and central to the gospel plan of redemption.
In the summer of 1828 the Prophet Joseph lost the 116 pages of manuscript translated from the first part of the Book of Mormon plates. He lost the manuscript by disobedience to the will of the Lord. As a result he not only lost the manuscript, he lost the plates themselves for a season, and he lost the Spirit of the Lord. It was a four-month period of agony and deep repentance by Joseph. He was without the Spirit. He felt he had betrayed his calling, and he was left alone by the Lord to suffer the severe consequences of his folly.
Martin Harris had persisted in mithering to see the manuscript. The Prophet continued to plead with the Lord enough times, until they got divine permission, contrary to the Lord's earlier counsel. But disastrous results followed. We can learn something from these instances. Obtaining divine permission is not the same as hearkening to divine counsel. It is almost counselling the Lord, and although permission is granted, it is not a guarantee of protection nor an insulation against tragedy. When we weary the Lord, or the Brethren, for permission, against original counsel, we have to assume the responsibility of the outcome. If we modify the original plan, or simply ignore the counsel given, we are in the same category. (See Robert J. Matthews, BYU, August 1985.)
"If they didn't know the right words, they wouldn't know the plan," taught President Ezra Taft Benson.
Self-esteem and unconditional love are not the right words. They are not part of the plan. In fact they go contrary to the designed purposes of the plan. They give false hope and comfort. And the result is counter to the Lord's purposes and plans for the salvation of His children. All this because we prefer the philosophies of men instead of a deep familiarity with the Lord's own words as given to us by prophets ancient and modern. Self-esteem and unconditional love are from the domain of natural man. They are antithetical to the nature of God and His restored gospel plan.
Basic to a correct understanding of the plan is to accept that our natural fallen state is at odds with God's nature and character. Our fallen nature places us at enmity with God and His ways, indeed it makes us enemies to God. That should be enough to get our attention and place our faith and trust in Him instead of turning to the precepts of men. This is clearly taught in the Book of Mormon.
When we see this clearly, when we have this basic understanding of the plan, that we are placed here as a test to see if we will seek unto and obey the Lord in all things, and at all hazards, then we are in the path of the plan, the path of safety (see Abraham 3:24--5), and we will avoid the ideas of men at all costs.
Can you start to see why a deep familiarity with the holy scriptures is vital for our mortal journey?
These corrective ideas are based in the scriptures, and anyone with a working knowledge of the scriptures will hear echoes here of the word of the Lord. To further illustrate:
"He that loveth his life shall lose it; and he that hateth his life in this world shall keep it unto life eternal." This is from the Lord Jesus Christ as found in John 12. Do you think He knows something? Do you suspect He knows the big picture better than we do, this "Man of Sorrows, and acquainted with grief"?
"Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid. . . .
"These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world" (John 14:27; 16:33, emphasis added).
Can you see the Lord Jesus' emphasis on Himself, on coming unto Him for our peace and comfort and consolation, and avoiding the world's ideas? Do you see it?
Remember too, "God having provided some better things for them through their sufferings, for without sufferings they could not be made perfect" (JST Hebrews 11:40).
And from those with the spirit of prophecy, which is the testimony of Jesus: "The world today speaks a great deal about love, and it is sought for by many. But the pure love of Christ differs greatly from what the world thinks of love" (President Benson). Do your ideas about love have their origins in the world or in the restored gospel?
"We know that the God of Israel announced himself to be holy and declared for that reason his people must also be holy [Leviticus 19:2, see footnote a]. The followers of Christ were known as disciples, which means disciplined followers. No doctrine was better understood among them than that no unclean thing can enter the presence of God. Everything in the law of Moses was designed to teach this, as are all the ordinances of the gospel known to the Saints of the New Testament. The fundamental doctrine of both the Old and New Testament is that we came into the world to fight against our fallen nature, not to fall in love with it" (JFMc, Agency, p. 89, emphasis added).
"The children of Zion love in proportion to the heavenly knowledge which they have received; for love keeps pace with knowledge, and as the one increases so does the other, and when knowledge is perfected, love will be perfected also" (Orson Pratt).
"I had loved before, but I knew not why. But now I loved with a pureness, an intensity of elevated, exalted feeling, which would lift my soul from the transitory things of this grovelling sphere and expand it as the ocean . . . . In short, I could now love with the spirit and with the understanding also" (Parley P. Pratt).
"Our object is to strengthen faith, not to reinforce self-esteem" (Dallin H. Oaks).
"There must be decision of character, aside from sympathy" (Joseph Smith).
"There are even cases where our liking [someone] conflicts with our charity towards the person we like. For example, a doting mother may be tempted by natural affection to 'spoil' her child; that is, to gratify her own affectionate impulses at the expense of the child's real happiness later on" (C.S.Lewis).
In conclusion (for now), the biggest damage of self-esteem and unconditional love has been in our children. We thought we were doing the right thing, the kind and loving thing, by trying to protect our children from the trials and lessons of life, by indulging them---at home and in school---by rewarding them and praising them beyond all sense of their actual achievement, and in doing so we harmed them, as Jack Lewis describes in this final quote above.
For this reason, and because both of these false ideas have been so pervasive and universal among us, influencing and determining everything else we think about the gospel, it is vital for us to understand the true doctrine as it resides in the mind of our Father in heaven. How can we boldly claim such understanding? That is for you to find out. . . . But these things, as set forth here, are true and faithful, and approach the mind of God. "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord.
"For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts."
More to be said on this, that's how important it is.
Steve
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